Hate the Players, Love the Game
by Hive Mentality
Summary: Kurt agrees to go shopping with Kitty and Rogue. When they see Pietro flirting with a girl in a cafe they decide to warn her about his...flippant ways with women in an unconventional way. This, of course, calls for revenge. Kurtty, possibly other pairings


**Ah, I absolutely adore Pietro! He's so great (though, regrettably, not as great as Kurt) and even his voice-actor is awesome! You know, I think that the reason I like him so much is that he is almost as self-centered/conceited as I am. Birds of a feather, I suppose~**

**Anyway, my sister and I were discussing who the bigger player is: Azazel (Kurt's dad from the comics) or Pietro… we got to talking and, well, this idea just sort of popped into my head. And of course, I couldn't avoid the Kurtty, because it's simply adorable! On an off note, I can see how one could take this as a sort of yaoi-bashing, which isn't what it is! (Because Lord knows, I would never dream of bashing it)**

**Hate the Players, Love the Game**

**-Pilz-**

For what must have been the hundredth time, the door to the dressing room opened and Kitty emerged wearing a pink shirt that look exactly like every other shirt she'd tried on so far. She did a little twirl before turning to Kurt, who was sitting in the designated "husband/boyfriend chair" next to the mirrors.

"So? What do you think about this one?" She asked. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Umm… It looks nice _Kӓtzchen_, but isn't it the same as the last one?" Kitty smiled and shook her head.

"No, this one has a different hem, see?" She pointed. Kurt gave a mock-enlightened look.

"Of course... the hem. Silly me." The door to the dressing room opened once again and Rogue stepped out in a grey long-sleeved shirt. She stepped over to the mirror.

"What's wrong Kurt?" Rogue smirked, "Not having fun?"

"Well... as _exciting _as it is to watch you try on everything in the store, we've been in here for almost an hour and…" Kurt gestured toward the food court, and his stomach chose that exact moment to make itself known. Kitty gathered up a large pile of clothes and headed for the register. Rogue grabbed her pile—though notably smaller—and joined her.

"All right Fuzzy, but I wanna hit a couple more stores first." Kitty said, and Kurt pouted.

"But, since you _enjoy _shopping with us so much, and I _am_ buying, it shouldn't be that big a deal, right?" Rogue added. Kurt gathered the bags of clothes they'd already bought (eight bags total, why on earth they would need so many outfits he would never understand) and followed them out the door with a defeated sigh.

"When you asked if I wanted to come with you to the mall, I didn't exactly have being your pack-mule in mind." Kurt said, resisting the urge to use his tail to carry some of the bags. Kitty looped an arm through his.

"But we _are _spending time together…" Kitty said. Kurt smiled, because he couldn't really complain about that.

"Speakin' of spending time together, check out Pietro." Rogue jerked a thumb toward a café. Pietro was sitting in one of the booths with a girl, busy charming her, though he probably didn't even know her name. "I swear, that guy goes through at least three girls a week." She scoffed. "He's such a jerk."

"Aww… I feel bad for her. Someone should, like, warn her." Kitty said. A devilish smirk spread across Rogue's face.

"Why don't you go in and pretend to be his girlfriend? That way Speed-boy over there won't have a chance with her." Kurt frowned and took a large step to the left, closing the distance between himself and Kitty with a huff.

"No way!" He said. Rogue turned to leer at him.

"Well then why don't _you_ pretend to be his boyfriend?"

"That's an even worse idea!" Kurt shouted a little too loud, earning a few looks from passer-bys.

"That would be hilarious! You should do it." Kitty giggled.

"Kitty!" Kurt said, shocked and looking more than a little betrayed.

"It's settled then!" Rogue said and nudged him toward the café. He crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue.

"Nothing is settled! Besides, I'm taken." He reasoned.

"Do it, and I'll buy you lunch." No response. "Right now, no more shopping." Still no response. "All you can eat?" Kurt gave her a sideways look, and, after a long pause, gave a suffering sigh.

"Fine! But I want dessert, too." Kurt added. Kitty and Rogue nodded eagerly. He glanced at the café before looking back at the two girls, who were motioning him forward. He hesitated for a moment—wondering whether or not it would be wise to reconsider—before grudgingly handing Rogue the bags and walking over to the door. Steeling himself, he took a deep breath before flinging open the door.

"Pietro!" Kurt shouted. The boy in question jumped, as did the girl we was with, and everyone else in the store. He donned what he thought was a convincing, hurt expression. "How could you?! I thought we had something special!" Mentally, he winced—_mein Gott that was cliché_—before storming across the store. Pietro looked confused, if not a little panicked.

"What the hell are you _talking_ about?" Pietro glanced between Kurt and the girl, who looked almost as confused as he was, if not a little put off.

"Don't you play dumb with me!" Kurt turned away huffily to glance back at Kitty and Rogue, who, although they looked like they were trying desperately hard to stifle laughter, were pretending to back their friend up.

"I told you he was no good!" Kitty added, and Rogue nodded in agreement. By now everyone in the room was watching, some with pitying looks towards Kurt, other with disgust toward the supposed "cheater".

"Is this your _boyfriend_?" The girl asked accusingly. "_Boyfriend_?" She repeated the last word hollowly—obviously _very_ confused, and _very_ irritated.

"_No_! I—"

"EX-boyfriend, now!" Kurt spat, earning a leveling glare from Pietro who, for all intents and purposes, was probably going to try to kill Kurt in his sleep. By the look on her face, Kurt could tell that the girl Pietro was sharing a coffee with probably felt bad for him, too. Pietro turned toward a booth at the back of the café, where Lance and Todd had been watching the entire scene with bemused expressions and, in Todd's case, fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"Help me out, guys!" Pietro insisted. Rogue and Kitty both shot them expectant looks. Lance just shrugged.

"You've got no one to blame but yourself." He said. This sent Todd into more, louder peals of laughter, and Lance soon joined him. Rogue chose that point to wrap it up, before she lost her composure. The laughter was contagious, and her sides were starting to hurt.

"Come on, Kurt, he aint worth it." She practically dragged him and Kitty out the door, and the second it closed behind them Kitty and Rogue burst into hysterics. Kurt was bristling.

"That was humiliating!" He hissed. Kitty grabbed onto his shoulder to keep herself from falling over. She wiped a tear from her eye.

"You, like, _totally_ fooled them! That was great! You were _way _too good at that…" She nudged him with her elbow, "Should I be worried?" She asked with a sly smile.

"Oh, ha-ha. You're hilarious." They glanced in through the window long enough to see the girl stand up, furious, dump her iced-coffee over his head, then storm out the back. Rogue clapped her hands together.

"Mission accomplished!" She said, "Now let's get out of here before he decides to take revenge, okay?"

Kitty nodded furiously and started after her. Kurt followed the two—after all, it wasn't…_that_ embarrassing, and what embarrassment he _did_ suffer, he would make Rogue pay in food.

Kurt walked down the hall, carrying an armload of books under one arm so that he could successfully eat his usual Gut-bomb burger with the other hand. The halls were empty, as there was still plenty of time before classes started and those students that had bothered to come this early either socializing in the lunchroom, or studying in the library.

Kitty was following close behind. The two had come to school a little early so that they could study for a test they had later in the day. Kurt approached his locker and popped the last of the burger into his mouth, using his now-free hand to dial the combination and put away the books that he wouldn't need.

"What's that?" Kitty asked, pointing to a piece of paper that had fallen out Kurt's locker. When Kurt just shrugged, Kitty stooped to pick it up, intending to throw it into the wastebasket.

She stared at it a moment, looking somewhat confused, before her face cracked into a grin. She looked up at him with amusement in her eyes.

"_Was_?" He insisted. The more she stared at him like that, the more she looked like a sadistic kid on an ant hill.

"It's a confession." She beamed. "From _Jeremy._" Quickly, Kurt snatched the paper, took one look at it, and paled.

"_Was_? Why would he—" Before he could even finish the question, he felt the air behind him shift violently, and a triumphant voice said:

"Well, I figured you would, y'know, wanna try dating again. S'best ta just move on, so I set you up with a friend." Kurt whirled around, sending what would have been a solid kick through the patch of air where Pietro once stood. He flashed them a cheeky grin and ran off down the hallway before either of them could blink. Kurt glared daggers at where he had been standing only a moment before.

Still seething, Kurt slammed his locker shut and vehemently threw the note into the trash.

"Aww, come on, Fuzzy. It's no big deal." Kitty beamed, throwing an arm over his shoulders. "You're irresistible." And then she laughed a light, tinkling laugh. Despite himself and his irritation, Kurt couldn't help but smile. It was Rogue's fault anyway—probably—so there was no reason to stay mad at Kitty.

"Well, that's all fine and good, but what am I supposed to say to _him,_" He motioned to the note sitting in the trashcan. Kitty paused, pursing her lips and considering the problem for all of two seconds before clapping him on the back with a shrug.

"I dunno, but you're, like, a good actor. You'll figure it out." And she walked off towards the library as though all was well in the world.

**And if you're curious, we decided that Azazel is—by far—the bigger player :D I am considering turning this into an all-out revenge fest. Let me know if you want to see more chapters, eventually bringing in more characters. Also, do you prefer when authors write out accents? Or just leave it? Please review!**


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